Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE traveling, and I adore traveling solo because I can do what I want, when I want it, and it’s challenging and rewarding and wonderful.
Sometimes, though, being a single, female traveler and having to deal with everything that comes along with that really, REALLY grinds my gears.
I wanted to write this separately, because my shit day is actually the same as my Chemka Hot Springs day, and I didn’t want to sully my review of the activity with my crap interpersonal experiences. But, here we go… 
I touched on this at the beginning, but the company I booked with definitely tried to screw me in the morning, telling me that I hadn’t booked a private transfer. That’s not what I want to deal with at 8am, but you can bet your butt that I’m not going to let you take advantage of me just because I’m sleepy and bleary-eyed from waking up less than an hour ago. Hell to the no.
So my day started out with me on guard for shenanigans…
Once we got to the springs, my guide asked if I would mind him taking a swim while we were there. I said of course I didn’t mind… I mean, what the heck else was he supposed to do all day, I figured?
Well…this was the WRONG answer.
Apparently that was an invitation to follow me around the springs, try to hold my hand, try to take photos together, etc etc.
Finally I swam to deeper water, and he was a crap swimmer, so I was left alone for a bit.
Eventually though, I wanted to have lunch, and that’s when it got even more ugly.
Now, mind you, I’m *very* used to everyone, EVERYONE (male, female, young, old, and everything across all spectrums), asking if I’m married and being horrified when I’m not. It’s just not how it’s done in many other places, so I’m comfortable fielding that question. What I wasn’t comfortable with was this:
Tour Guide (TG): So how old are you?
Me: 28
TG: Are you married?
Me: Nope
TG: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Nope
TG: Why not?
Me: I’ mtraveling the world!
TG: Have you ever had a boyfriend?
Me: Yes
TG: What happened?
Me: I broke up with him?
TG: Why?
Me: I really don’t want to talk about it.
TG: But why?
Me: Because I had to call the police because of him.
TG: Oh.
TG: Did you know you are the most beautiful girl in the world?
Me: I suppose that depends on who you ask.
TG: Well you are.
TG: Don’t you want to find a boyfriend on your trip?
Me: No.
Me: *silently eats sandwich*
LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE.
Obviously there are more terrifying things that can happen to a person, but I was 2 hours from civilization with this guide and driver and it’s just SO UNCOMFORTABLE. How do you even know what to say? If you read my Chemka blog, you know I climbed a tree to read my kindle for a while in the sunshine. That was a twofold solution after lunch was over. I wasn’t about to let this moron ruin my day, but I also wasn’t going to stand for any more awkward discussions about my love life.
Eventually we left Chemka and I was dropped back at my accommodation, but this guy STILL would not let up! He wanted to come back and take me out for dinner and dancing and I was just like OMFG NO GO AWAY. I reminded him that I had to be up at 4 for my bus to Dar and that seemed to quiet him down.
However, that wasn’t the end of my frustrations for the day.
Once I was in the hotel, I rested for a bit and then decided that I needed to head over to the supermarket to grab some snacks for the bus. So as any normal person would do, I walked to reception and confirmed, “The supermarket is to the left, yes?”
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd the receptionist saddled me with an escort.
The supermarket was ONE BLOCK. IN THE DAYLIGHT. ON THE MAIN ROAD.
I was livid. I just wanted to walk one block, to shop in the supermarket. By my flipping self.
This guy tailed me to the market, followed me around IN the market, tried to tell me what to buy, and then when I was paying, took some plastic bags to put my things in, and started loading them up. Now, in New Jersey, you don’t pay for plastic bags, but in Africa you do. I was paying and I happened to look at the screen and saw the bag charge and started to argue with the cashier… and then I turned around and saw what the guy had done.
I. WAS. SO. GODDAMN. PISSED.
He’s like “it’s only a coin what’s the big deal!?”
It’s my effing coin you jerk and I don’t want a plastic bag, I brought my empty backpack and WHAT THE EFF WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY STUFF?!
I was obviously really tightly wound at this point but I was just so agitated and upset and all I wanted to do was go home and throw a tantrum.
Can’t a girl walk to the store and get a bag of popcorn on her own?
*sigh*
Obviously if this is my most agitating day so far, I’m doing pretty well and nothing awful has happened, but I just needed to have a moment to vent the frustrations. You also never know what someone is capable of when you’re on a 1-1 tour away from civilization so I’m going to be a LOT more diligent in vetting my private tours moving forward.
Ugh.
Sidenote: I’ve talked to several people about this and they’ve suggested that I wear a fake wedding ring or say I have a boyfriend. I *know* that I could do either of these things, but it just drives me bananas that this is a potential solution to this problem. I know I’m American and I have the “luxury” of being adamantly opposed to a victim-blaming culture, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling some kind of way about “needing” to pretend I’m in a relationship in order to avoid unwanted attention/advances while I’m traveling. *sighs*
