Ever since I was little, I’ve always felt a special connection to team sports, and a very strong desire to be “part of something”. Soccer, Volleyball and Ultimate always came through for me, and then when I graduated, I joined Derby.
My first few seasons (this is my fourth now), I was really focused on simply learning to skate (and I’m still working to improve this daily!) and to learn the simple dynamics of the sport. As opposed to my previous sporting experience, where we would practice 5-6 times a week in an intense, short season, derby was 2 days a week for 10 months of the year. We didn’t have that incubation period where we were doing nothing but learning the sport, it was spread out over time because we’re all grown now and have these things called “responsibilities” like jobs and significant others and families and puppies and whatever else. So we derby twice a week. Some teams more, some teams less, but I would say two practices a week is about average for the typical non-elite derby athlete.
Some days, these aforementioned responsibilities seem overwhelming. The days where you feel like you can’t take any more, like you have nothing left to give, like there’s nothing that could possibly go right… These are the days when I need my team the most. Being a part of a supportive group of … family, even if we have NOTHING in common off the track, encourages me to give my best. To show up when I’m having a bad day because I know they’ll support me and encourage me, each in their own ways. To show up when I’m having a good day so that I can give that back to someone else.
At practice, I find that I yell a lot. (I’ll admit, sometimes these yells are in frustration… but let’s put that aside for a moment.) I’m sure at times it annoys my teammates, and I’m sure it doesn’t help me because when I’m frustrated I probably don’t do it as much, but I try, as much as possible, to shout positive and encouraging things to my teammates out on the track.
Why? You may be asking… We should all be self-motivated to give 100% in every second and know how to do all the things!
Well, this one time, probably a year and a half ago now, I was jamming in practice. We were running 2 minute jam drills, so I knew I was out there for the full two minute fight, no matter what I did. That gets in your head sometimes, especially when you’re getting battered in the pack, as I was. When I finally scrapped my way through and fought free, I was skating shakily along at a medium clip, likely just enough to avoid getting sucked back into the pack. Then from the bench, I heard someone yell, “Knox! You can do it! Skate hard! You got this!!!” Around the second phrase, I realized who was yelling… a skater on my team who I have always admired and looked up to.
Something in me changed in that moment.
I realized, at least as much as you can process while you’re jamming, that it’s not just about the individual out there on the track. I’d been so busy focusing solely on learning this sport I didn’t know, finding *my* way and *my* place, that I would lose track of the fact that my teammates were relying on me to be part of the group. To come through for them in a cohesive way. To be a part of the whole. At that moment, my teammate needed me to jam my booty off. Even though I was beat up. Even though I was tired and my legs didn’t want to cross over.
I. Needed. To. Skate.
And you know what? She believed in me. That I could do it. It wasn’t just that she needed me or wanted me to do something, as important as those things are… She believed that I could.
That’s what got me through that jam.
That’s why I can be obnoxiously compliment-y on the track and on the bench.
That’s what keeps me going on bad days.
That’s what inspires me on good days.
My teammates.
I want to support them as much as a single skater can, and let them know that even when they’re not feeling it themselves, they’ve always got the rest of us at their back.
Questions/Comments?
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